the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
