When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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