No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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