Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize