did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
