you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
