I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
