So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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