What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
