3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
