Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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