is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
