talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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