Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
