What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
