His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
