I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
