this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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