Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
