I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
