Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
