I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
did you just send me my own nude
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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