Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
