she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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