Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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