I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
