I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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