so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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