I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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