He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
