I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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