he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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