It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
