She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
