i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
