Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
