I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
