What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
