I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
