I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
