Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
