How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
