I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my phone needs a breathalizer
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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