I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do vagina's smell?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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