I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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