Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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