Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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