You work out of a Hotel?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
