Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
