apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
