Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
